Borrowed Time

::an uncertain and usually uncontrolled postponement of something inevitable.

Sometimes we feel as if we might be living on borrowed time. Stuck, suspended, waiting for … something.

It’s difficult, I think, for graduates lately. We’ve been given all of these expectations about what to expect when we finally finish our education. We’ve been told that if we finish with a great grade, if we gain enough work experience, do enough extra curricular activities, then landing our dream job will come naturally.

We come into the world with a (very expensive) piece of paper, declaring that we’re capable, we can be adults now. Things will just be there, waiting for us to take them. But unfortunately, it’s just not that simple. Things don’t wait for you, and you can’t wait for them. And that becomes a disappointment – but it really shouldn’t be.

Of course, some people know what they want, and they will do anything to achieve their goals, and that’s great and they’re sure to get there. But it’s also completely normal to not know what we want to do with our lives just yet.

Since graduating 10 months ago (wow), I have applied for countless ‘dream jobs’. Jobs I thought would be the kick start to my ‘career’ – jobs in magazines, newspapers, for websites, and media companies. Because a job in publishing seems like the natural next step, for an English graduate who will read anything she can get her hands on.

But, needless to say, I didn’t get an interview for even one of these jobs. And that’s because I don’t actually think any of them excited me all that much – and as much as you try, that shows in your application.

“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.” – Baz Lurhman, Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen

As soon as I broadened my horizons, and started applying for jobs outside of my comfort zone, outside of my realm of obvious experience, I started getting call backs, and invited to interviews. These jobs scared and excited me, because I love to learn new things, and I love to challenge myself.

I now work in a job I wouldn’t have even considered applying for this time last year. Doing something I never would have imagined I’d be able to do. And I really love it. I’m challenged every day and my sense of responsibility both within my team and within the company is growing as fast as my confidence.

I still love to read, and I still love to write, and I will continue to do these things as long as they excite me.

I am not living on borrowed time, none of us are. I am living now, and I am very, very happy about that.